Why Is it Wrong to Teach Kids Responsibility?

My favorite, and the only, mom blog that I read is written by Dawn Meehan - Because I Said So. She posted a few days ago about the responses she received from her readers about her having her older children help pick up the younger children's toys. Apparently, some of the readers were appalled that she would have her kids help her other kids out. I completely, utterly and thoroughly do not understand that opinion.

Since when is it OK to keep kids from helping out around the house?
Since when is it OK to not teach kids responsibility?

In my opinion, Ms. Meehan was completely right to ask her olders to help the youngers out. American society, as a whole has really lost most important aspect of family which is that families are supposed to function as a team. No, families don't get along ALL of the time, but we are all supposed to pitch in and help each other out.

This society is so wierdly kid-centered - parents work and ignore their kids and then give them everything and anything they want to relieve the guilt due to their negligence of their kids. WHY? Kids these days are just overly self-involved and self-centered and its really contributing to the downfall of society. Just look at all the people on government assistance that are still sticking their hands out for more money. Honestly, those people on assistance have more money at the end of the month than we do and we don't qualify.

Kids need limits, boundaries and responsibilities!!!

When I was 5, I was standing on a chair, washing dishes every night after dinner.
When I was 12, I made at least one dinner a week.
I was responsible for doing my own laundry.
I bought my own gas and car insurance - and car.
I was responsible for sweeping, mopping and cleaning the bathroom regularly.

My olders, who are 6 and 4, are responsible for helping around the house. They have to clean their room about once a week. They clean the baby's room and toys up once in a while. They have to set the table. My son helps shovel snow and he cleans the litter box. They help clean walls, windows and scrub floors. And they make their beds every day.

In working within our family as a team - Mom and Dad are the coaches, as well as players - I hope to instill in my children a sense of responsibility, ownership and family values.

Tales of an Oppressed 6 Year Old Boy

Who knew that 6 would be such a rough age? My son is, generally, a pretty good kid. Sure, he had the terrible twos and threes, but even that only lasted from when he was 18 months until he was 30 months. So really, he didn't even make it to the terrible threes. It only took him about a month after my oldest daughter was born (he was 28 months) to get used to her and the same to get used to the baby (he was 5 1/2). Shortly thereafter, he was daytime potty trained. He was a good 3 year old, very eloquent and smart. He was a good 4 and 5 year old, very polite and creative. But 6, oh 6, is very rough.

We already had the "Its not fair" thing. Now its just a bunch of whining, demanding and bragging. All things that I DON'T put up with. Everything has to be his way. He questions everything that is asked of him. He constantly tells his sister how much better he is than her at Super Mario Brothers, Tag, Ring Around the Rosie, coloring, writing, building with Legos, etc. He threw a fit today because my wonderful husband turned off the Super Nintendo for him while he was getting his gear on to go to school. He then attempted to turn the system back on so HE could turn it off like he wanted. Everything has got to be his way or he's throwing a fit.

Needless to say, he's been spending a lot of time in his room lately with only his thoughts and a book to read - his toys are downstairs. My wonderful husband and I are "Love and Logic" parents and we do not care to listen to his attitude. So there's a lot of "Uh-ohs" going on in my house. Hopefully, soon, he'll remember that if he wants to be in the rest of the house with us, and his playthings, he's going to have to treat us all with respect.

I'm not even looking forward to what's going to happen when he gets home from school today. My mother-in-law is picking him up, as my husband is driving our only functioning vehicle. When she gets here, she will be taking my oldest daughter to her house for an overnight. My daughter asked and grandma said yes. I am quite certain that he will promptly throw a fit as they are getting ready to walk out the door. Personally, I am thankful that they are getting some time apart from each other. They each need a bit of space to just be themselves. And, hey, if he wants to go, he should just ask!

We have some pretty fun things planned for this month and over Christmas break. I really hope his attitude doesn't force us to leave him behind or change our plans. Or return his Christmas gifts.

Financial Peace - I'm Ready to be Wierd! (Part 2)

The wierdness has begun! We just completed our first week of our re-launch in our Financial Peace Planner. I did well with my goals. I prayed every day to be a good steward of our money. We did the Cub Scout activities and had a couple of nice dinners together. I did not exercise - I ended up coming down with a cold after getting my flu shot. I finished Chapter 2 by Sunday.

Chapter 2 asks many questions:

1. Do you have stuffitis? Surprisingly, no. Things like getting rid of extras, buying brand names and top of the line purchases left our way of thinking a couple years ago! We do, however, tend to spend a little bit more on something that we REALLY want.


2. Are you using money to camoflage your feelings? Another somewhat surprising no. This is another line of thinking that has almost died in our past. Sure, it would be nice to go on a shopping spree. But I'd much rather have heat in the winter, gas in my tank and food in the fridge.


3. Are you vulnerable to get-rich-quick- schemes and bad investments? Not any more! I fell for Mary Kay, hook, line and sinker. I'd rather get rich slow than dump money into MLMs and other schemes and get nowhere but further into debt.


4. Are you a lazy money manager? Yes, and I'm trying to get better. I used to let my husband have total control over the finances. He's such a pleaser though, that when I asked if we could afford something, he would mentally tabulate which bills we could put off, so we could get what I wanted. THAT wasn't what I was asking for! So, we are trying to work together as a team, and discuss our finances weekly.


5. What would you do with $1,000,000? a. Give 10% to our church, b. Pay off all our existing debts, c. Set up college funds for our kids, d. Set up a retirement fund for us, and e. Have some fun - buy a house, travel, etc.

We were also challenged to set a date that we will have a $1,000 emergency fund established. My Wonderful Husband thinks we can have it done ny December 22, 2008. So that's what we're working for!

Our Weekly Goals

• Spiritual - Continue to pray daily for financial wisdom.


• Relational - Have a safe and happy Thanksgiving with our families.


• Physical - Work out at least 3x a week.


• Mental - Read Chapter 3 by Saturday, 11/29.

I'M READY TO BE WIERD!!!

Financial Peace - I'm Ready to be Weird!

My husband and I are getting ready to re-start Financial Peace baby steps. We recently paid off many, many thousands of dollars in debt and only have about $4,000 left! Problem is, the end is in sight and we are slacking off a bit.

I kind of gave myself, and him, a kick in the pants when I started mapping out all the things that we want to do within the next 10-15 years. I realized that we need to kick it into gear if we ever want to have these amazing experiences:

• Go to Disney World twice - next winter and when our youngest is 5 (probably in 6 years).
• Go to Hawaii for our 10 year anniversary - in 2011.
• Buy a new, somewhat larger, house within the next 5 years.
• Go to Europe for our 25th anniversary.
• Pay for 4(?) college educations.

And of course, save up a nice chunk of cash for retirement. I really want to be those people who live VERY modestly now and just have tons of money in savings for the emergencies and the fun. That means that WE NEED TO QUIT PISSING OUR MONEY AWAY NOW!!!

So, I hauled out the dusty Financial Peace planner, erased all my marks from before and we're back at it. One chapter per week, until we're done.

This week's goals:

• Spiritual - Pray EVERY day for help with finances.
• Relational - Continue to work on Boy Scout Activities and have at least one nice meal per week, all together.
• Physical - Exercise 30 minutes per day, 5 days a week - taking Wednesdays and Sundays off.
• Mental - Finish reading Financial Peace, chapter 2 by next Saturday 11/22/2008.

I really want this! We have been paying for our credit mistakes for the past 10 years and I am sick of having debt hanging over my head!

So, in the words of the awesome Dave Ramsey, "Call me weird - Just don't call me broke!"

I'm ready to be weird!

Intelligent Adults Do the Stupidest Things...

We've all done it - rushed into things, only to regret them later. I've always sort of hoped that when an adult reaches a certain age, late 20s perhaps, that logic and common sense start to become a factor in the whole decision making process. How about celebrities who hold their baby upside down over a balcony? Or the musician/clothing designer/B-list actress/blah blah blah who bought chandeliers for her babies' closets? Sex with strangers and without protection?

And...My personal (current) favorite: A woman who gets into a relationship with a guy who says he's sterile but she ends up pregnant less than a month into the relationship. Then she decides that she wants to marry him 6 weeks after the baby is born. I'm all for getting married before having children, but the baby is already here! If you're going to marry the guy after the baby is born, at least wait till the postpartum bleeding is done! Somehow I am stuck all up in the middle of this mess. They're living in his parents' house, but paying rent on her apartment. She's taking the one week old baby out and about already. But, apparently, I have no idea what being pregnant, going through labor, having issues breastfeeding or planning a wedding feels like. I only have had 4 pregnancies and 3 kids to show for it. What the heck do I know?!?

Now, I've become the 2nd bridesmaid, by default. I have to meet with bride and maid of honor this week. By the way, the maid of honor MUST meet me in person because she is SO shy that she can't even send e-mails to people that she has never met before. Are you kidding me!?! Bride tells me that I should come with ideas for dresses, but nothing expensive because MOH can't afford it. The wedding budget itself is $300, why would I possibly want to spend more than $50 on a dress? We would look more dressy than the bride!

Whatever...I've got 2 kids I'm bringing with me. SHE has absolutely NO clue what it takes to get 1 kid ready and dropped off at school and 2 other kids ready and make a car trip that is an hour each way.

Their relationship is on rocky ground anyways. Any dress I buy is going to have the tags left on till the "Big Day".

I digress.